Rogue dictatorships on the other side of the planet usually have limited interest in far-away western nations like Australia unless there’s something worthwhile on offer.
And it just so happens that the architects of misinformation in the rogue state of North Korea have found a reason to turn their attention Downunder – they’ve become fascinated by the work of a bunch of bent bananas in the City of Ryde.
This particular bunch has been shameless in exploiting their civic duties in the pursuit of supercharging their retirement fund.
They’ve rorted the public purse for personal gain, regularly misled the media, concealed dodgy dealings, defied the democratic wishes of locals and – assisted by the extended bent banana family in Macquarie Street – even infiltrated the ICAC, to destroy political rivals.
Given Pyongyang’s ‘wink of approval’ for Ryde’s rorts, it’s no surprise the inner north-western Sydney suburb occasionally makes it into the news bulletins of state-owned Korean Central Television.
In the report, there’s even a reference to “Ryde’s cheap immitation Supreme Ruler”, apparently a backhanded North Korean compliment stemming back to its ancient days.
“What we can learn from Ryde is that rorting requires careful thought, planning,” a North Korean official told Taking Us For A Ryde on the condition of anonymity.
“If you can also pull it off, stunts and useless information regularly fed to the media will ensure you’re never exposed and need to have access to public resources for the benefit of those that do your dirty work.
“That means handing out overpaid gigs to people with roles well beyond their ability.”
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un: Keen on a relationship with Ryde with a focus on information sharing aimed at achieving innovation in rorting the public
Chairman of North Korea’s Workers’ Party – Supreme Ruler, Kim Jong Un – is considering investment of his nation’s wealth into high-rise developments in waterfront locations in Ryde.
He has asked his senior officials to design an ICAC-style anti-corruption agency, with secrecy provisions enshrined in law, to create the public perception of corruption fighting, while in reality, covertly being used to persecute with dissent and political threats.
Also high on his list is an invitation to DJ Picko for a government subsidised tour of North Korea to celebrate his talents in ‘Truth Remixing’ and ‘Ethical Illusion’.
“Our people have become accustomed to trickery, deception and breach of trust and we have trained them to celebrate it – DJ Picko, we think, will fit in nicely,” the official said.