Top 10 Songs To Mark Lobbyist/Mayor Bill Pickering’s Red Bathrobe Encore

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We interrupt our deep sleep to update you on the latest efforts by (retired) Major Shamateur* that are “Taking Us For A Ryde” (pun intended) as he persists with a desperate crusade to impose a twin (or more)-towered monstrosity on Ryde’s civic precinct, regardless of what ratepayers think.

This is an inspirational story of determination, focus, ‘world’s best practice’ in dirty politics and a man on a mission to make the world aware of an impending crisis in human rights abuses against property developers. Hugo Halliday, our conflicted but resourceful superstar reporter, threw together this report.

As a lobbyist that’s mainly serviced property developers, Bill Pickering is well aware of the struggles and the discrimination they face on multiple fronts, even when trying to make a valuable contribution to the community – like a high-rise residential tower or 10.

(* For details on why we’ve chosen the ceremonial name of Major Shamateur in this piece refer to the section subtitled ‘As Popular Bowel Cancer: No Local Support? No Worries’)

Picko Picks: Songs To Celebrate A Lobbyist Turned Mayor

We drew upon our global editorial resources to assemble a compilation of songs are most relavant to the personal story of Ryde’s new leader by miscarriage.

In number one spot is a song that carries some sentimental value for Pickering.

Its title, ‘Shamateur’ kicked off an ultra-marathon of rage and malicious dummy spitting by Pickering, angered to be given such an honest one-word character assessment by John Booth, editor of local newspaper, The Weekly Times.

#1 Shamateur

This track by pop-electro group Viola, is titled with the same word the The Weekly Times used to describe lobbyist Bill Pickering in his early days as a councillor. So it has a certain sentimental value. That explains the ‘Shamateur’ part of Pickering’s ceremonial title in today’s article, as part of our conribution to community celebrations. The preceding ‘Major’ acknowledges his military obsession, including saving the planet from an invasion by Shariah Law-abiding aliens, the kind of thing he’ll rants about with remarkable proficiency – with no segue too difficult. In fairness without army analogies or war talk sprinkled throughout his rarely-read blog, it’s hard to imagine he’d want to traverse other topic areas and risk revealing deals or relationships he’s kept under the radar that he thinks no one’s noticed. The lyrics by Viola are cryptic, but those resonating most are: “shamateur, you got what you deserved,” which many decent Ryde people hope they’ll be able to recite to their number one local shamateur, in person, soon.

2. No Lies

An  80s classic by the SOS Band that best represents what the Ryde Community wants from anyone that is given the privilege of leading their city – but from Major Shamateur, it seems sadly, they cannot ever seem to get it. , especially on the issue of the Civic Centre redevelopment fiasco. Only recently, local resident and Newcastle University Professor John Smolders reached the point where he’d had enough of had enough which has become far too personal which ultimately leads to his whole campaign for this disaster simply not passing the sniff test.

3. Barbie Girl

Even though Auburn Council media badboy Salim Mehajer has nothing on Major Shamateur, this is the mock video clip made for his notorious wedding celebrations using the tacky Acqua track ‘Barbie Girl’. It has important symbolism for those in solidarity, fighting for property developers’ privacy by not declaring relationships with them.

4. Shut Up

According to the latest available research, this song by The Black Eyed Peas will cross the mind of members of the public gallery at Ryde Council meetings at least once and up to 10 times, during cringeworthy rants by the Major Shamateur.

5. Dirty Cash

This is the ‘Sold Out Mix’ of 90s Stevie V track Dirty Cash – which I’m sure you’ll agree, goes to the heart of why the public does not trust dirty politicians  – especially those who claim they’re powered by god. You’ll especially see the relevance when you hear the words: “I want to get rich quick”.

6. Tacky

When you do one too many dirty political smear campaign and you are a redkneck bogan who puts yourself before the community, you will at some stage be seen as tacky. And Tacky is one of Wierd Al Yankovich’s more recent send up tracks. Perfect.

7. Corrupt

A track with a self-explanatory title, Corrupt was release by electro megastars, Depeche Mode in 2009. Nuff said.

8. Blurred Lines

This Robin Thicke song from 2013, Blurred Lines, is how a corrupt politician would see the hassle of having to reveal dodgy relationships to constituents. Meanwhile, constituents demand they know – there’s nothing blurred or ambiguous about it. If you’re hiding things from them it’s because you know the consequences – in a democracy anyway.

9. Like A Surgeon

Another Wierd Al Yankovich send up, this time of Madonna’s Like A Virgin. It’s a perfect track to help us remember the Shamateur’s staged knock-out – and within 10 minutes of it happening he had sent out a picture of himself, to all media, lying on a paramedics stretcher. He told journos that he expected to stay overnight for observation – but when he got to Ryde hospital, the medical certificate says there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and sent him home with instructions to take a Panadol if his fake pains persisted.

10. Don’t Lie

Another blockbuster from The Black Eyed Peas that reflects exactly what Ryde’s ratepayers collectively think almost every time Major Shamateur delivers his rants at council meetings, in public and (his party colleagues tell us) at caucus meetings – which are kind of naughty under local government legislation in NSW, where you can’t apparently have a binding caucus vote. But without them, how would we ever be able to celebrate the momentus achievements of Bill Pickering – who has made the transition from lobbyist to Mayor? Think about this for a minute – he would be ruthlessly forced into a democratic vote by ratepayers – and as he argues, it’s hard to see why they should have any sort of say in who leads their local administration, right?  yes?  no? (why are you frowning?)

“Bill Pickering rivals both Madonna and Prince when it comes to reinventing himself. His latest incarnation, DJ Picko, has seen him carry on unabated as a truth remixer and ethical illusionist. He brings hope to others that are completely unsuited to public office – for they know they too can now make the grade” – Hugo Halliday

 


As Popular Bowel Cancer: No Local Support? No Worries

If you’re not into political natter, now’s the time to get off the bus. Or you can hang around and be enlightened.

If there’s something Bill knows well, it’s the unarguable fact that he’s about as popular as bowel cancer and to become “mayor” when you don’t rate a blip in community approval is a big achievement.

He’s employed a simple strategy – make sure Ryde’s ratepayers have no say in it. He fought tooth and nail against a proposal to elect the mayor by popular vote, taking sleazy sanctuary in his more familiar habitat – the dark and dingy backroom.

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The closest thing resembling a dark and dingy political caucus meeting scenario where Major Shamateur is most at home

There, he only has to dupe a handful of Liberal caucus members, not an entire community.

And Ryde Council’s meeting  minutes may well report a Mayoral election was carried out in mid-September according to the rules, transparently, in open session. Surely Major Shamateur won fair and square.

Right? Wrong.

The Dastardly Events No One Seems To Have Realised

Don’t forget the dastardly events in the few years leading up to this and his previous shock elevation, used to change numbers on council, which were 7-5 against his shambolic Civic Centre pet project after the 2012 elections.

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Major Shamateur has accessed the control panel to fine tune the settings, the meter here indicates his regular output level

There’s been smear campaigning, for which he was embroiled in defamation action;  a disgraceful ICAC inquiry solely to eliminate political rivals and serious conflicts of interests – none of which have been disclosed – leading all the way to Macquarie Street.

Let’s hope some of the misinformation is dealt with when the DPP manages to finally get all the evidence ICAC’s hidden as two innocent men continue to face court over purely fictional claims related to the sham ICAC Ryde inquiry, that don’t pass the sniff test.

Postponing Sour Grapes

For now, we’ve put ruthless abuse of power and misuse of public resources to one side.

We’re here to celebrate Major Shamateur’s latest incarnation, ‘DJ Picko’.

He’s been dazzling large crowds of property developers with his signature “truth remixing” and regular acts of “ethical illusion”.  (Note: pic above from his last gig with imaginary fans).

You can just imagine the ‘Carnivale’ atmosphere that has kicked on in Ryde since Major Shamateur scored the red bathrobes, with celebrations ongoing since mid-September and spilling into the streets.

We’re feeling quite guilty at The Star Chamber Inquirer for getting to the party late, so in the spirit of DJ Picko’s new musical endeavours, we’ve assembled selection of tracks to get things buzzing again.

They’re from his upcoming compilation tribute album ‘Undisclosed’ which included his catchy new track “Help The Starving Children – With High Rise On Ryde’s Waterfront”.

Stay tuned for the fanfare when we launch that brilliant collection of musical artistry very soon.

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In NSW, ‘ICAC’ stands for something different

The multimedia effort below clearly informs and wraps up a case study of what has sadly become the rule rather than the exception at ICAC. Its Big Kahunas and Chief Wing-pullers know what their cash cow acronym stands for:

INSIGNIFICANT CASES ARE CORE

ICAC chooses easy to digest missions, preferably with something salacious to meet their accomplices’ requirements – usually a cheep and nasty headline to impress the masses.

This is the reality. The solution isn’t to kill off the state’s nasty acronym – but rather, those who’ve overstayed the taxpayers’ welcome and contributed to the evolution of  a rotten culture. But who’s going to do that? A federal anti-corruption commission perhaps?

Supervising the abused of state counterparts is yet another compelling reason for a federal watchdog.

Don’t call it “ICAC” though. It shouldn’t be lumbered with the ‘damaged goods’ of the NSW agency’s brand. In fact, the NSW Government should change its name to gauge its underperformance, undisguised by more prolific, effective and better supervised efforts by agencies of the same name*.

(* ICAC in SA and Hong Kong; and the International Crimes Against Children US taskforce)

 

Reckless ICAC Witch-Hunt Initiated By Lobbyist Continues to Fall Apart After TWT Editor John Booth Cleared

Booth Cleared

BREAKING NEWS: Editor of Ryde’s The Weekly Times has been cleared after a reckless three and a half year campaign by ICAC and a compliant DPP was finally dealt with in a real court without Rafferty’s Rules.

The Northern District Times published a report on last week’s decision by Magistrate Megan Greenwood at Downing Centre Local Court to clear John Booth, editor of its competitor, The Weekly Times (of Ryde).

In its report, the Northern District Times made reference to the “Downing St” court, perhaps explaining why it has taken more than a week to report the verdict.

But the Northern District Times editor Colin Kerr produced an otherwise factual and balanced report, after three years of scrutiny-free coverage of ICAC’s reckless claims and has even offered an occasional soap box for their protagonist.

Mr Booth said after the hearing that he always claimed his innocence and this was reaffirmed by the not guilty verdict.

“Finally I have had the opportunity to clear my name in a genuine court of law and found to be innocent and not guilty and the charge dismissed,” Mr Booth told The Northern District Times.

“Thank you to the many who have supported me and never wavered in their belief in my integrity and now have generously offered their congratulations.

“It is just disappointing that so many innocent and honourable citizens can be so maligned and discredited by the likes of ICAC which is supposed to represent the welfare of the community.”

Star Chamber Wars has known the result of the court case since the decision came down on April 11, but held off publishing the news to allow Mr Booth to first publish his reaction to the result in his paper.

Mr Booth had been accused of lying to the ICAC about one of his advertisers, Barry O’Grady, who had passed away before the Ryde public inquiry commenced.

ICAC suggested during the inquiry that Barry O’Grady was something of a phantom or fictitious character, but it would have known through interviews it conducted privately, that he was real and had previously advertised in the The Weekly Times.

Despite this, the ICAC and DPP persisted with a prosecution against Mr Booth, which has proved to be little more than an abuse of process.

Lobbyist and Ryde councillor, Bill Pickering, who has in the past protested about the lack of coverage about him in The Weekly Times, has loudly and openly declared his role in providing ICAC with information for its Ryde inquiry.

At the time of the Ryde inquiry, lazy and compromised reporting completely missed the fact that ICAC was being led in evidence by a lobbyist, after ICAC under the leadership of Justice Ipp, had in 2010 initiated a costly inquiry into the risks posed by lobbyists.

Leading Media Commentator On ICAC Analyses The Reckless Watchdog’s Actitions And The Implications For Accountability

Once upon a time, journalists would be regarded as experts when they managed to get a *nudge nudge, wink wink* leak from an investigative body, without rule of evidence, like the ICAC.

In truth, leaks of information of unverifiable accuracy should be of concern to journalists. All they do is create a catalyst for laziness and neglect of the fundamental role of a reporter, to scrutinise, expose, analyse and educate their audience on issues.

Even worse, journalists with egocentric motives and a desire to maintain their often dubiously-earned reputations become ideal targets for grooming by ICAC figures that have worked out that headlines and sensationalism blur the goalposts of performance and expectations.

By settling on a compliant handful of reporters for their leaks, ICAC knows the pressure to “do the right thing” if they want more ICAC goodies is a winning strategy.

It allows its often inaccurate and misleading allegations and narratives to go unchallenged, without – or at most, with a disingenuous attempt at – scrutiny.

So when ICAC’s rotten internal culture starts to affect the quality, frequency  and motivations for its inquiries, journalists can find themselves unintentionally peddling creative concoctions simply designed to shore up the reputation of an underperforming agency.

When a reckless agency like ICAC comes under fire from sections of the media driven by accountability of the government and the public right to know, the ICAC-aligned journalists and their associated mastheads find themselves playing the role of apologist.

The absurdity of a journalist with the title of “investigative journalist” that steadfastly refuses to investigate or write on alleged internal corruption at ICAC, including tampering of evidence, political interference, suppression of exculpatory and other enlightening evidence, is now a reality.

The Australian’s legal affairs editor, Chris Merritt, doesn’t need ICAC handouts of little or questionable accuracy to be at the top of his game.

In recent years, as media organisations shed staff en masse  and investigative resources become thin on the ground, Chris’ dedication and attention to detail has produced industry-leading reporting on ICAC.

NSW taxpayers and other interested observers are the beneficiaries. They can now access information in the public domain that includes details of ICAC’s worsening performance, maladministration and wasteful inquiries.

Chris Merritt’s columns have become a compelling read – here’s one of them.

#auspol #nswpol #auslaw #nswlaw #ICAC @australian @smh @dailytelegraph

Oscars Shock: Gong Eludes Lobbyist

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Host of the annual Oscars, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has snubbed a bid by lobbyist/councillor Bill Pickering to become the first recipient of a coveted gong in a new community category.

In the lead-up to today’s Oscars ceremony in Los Angeles, there was heavy speculation the Academy would introduce a category to recognise those “who achieved excellence in acting in miscellaneous community-related roles”.

Reports last month confirmed Pickering was the only nomination for the category after the Academy mailed several hundred prospects following a call for nominations from fans through its website.

Pickering’s now-famous performance involved a stint on the paramedics’ stretcher and in a neck brace after political rival Vic Tagg reacted to a year long campaign of provocation by Pickering with a misguided reflex action, that could only cause injury through lack of oxygen from uncontrollable laughter.

Set during a Ryde Council by-election last February, the elaborate display of performance involved his less-dedicated factional colleagues from the Liberal Party’s religious Right faction.

Their job was to deliver scripted accounts as the only ‘witnesses’ to the media. Despite providing reporters with three different versions of the performance’s centrepiece “coward’s punch” it worked, resulting in blanket coverage.

Even Media Watch got in on the act, running a story almost definitely provided by  Pickering or a Pickering theatrical assistant, to divert attention away from a real Media Watch story – the media’s lack of attention to detail that saw it fed a pup.

“I couldn’t believe it – all that was missing was lots of blood,” said one Putney resident, Bill Shamateur, who caught the performance aftermath.

“I saw him lying there, kind of lifeless and I said t my son: ‘this could improve his contribution to local issues, it looks as though he’s dead’.

“But seriously, he’s got some acting talent and he should follow his dreams to Hollywood or get his mates to arrange him a bit part in an evangelical flick or some Opus Dei production.”

Among the reporters that realised the media had been fooled by a brilliant display of raw street acting was Seven Network’s Robert Ovadia, who noted during a chat on Richard Glover’s afternoon radio show on ABC 702, that the picture of Pickering on the stretcher had been sent to media within 15 minutes of the performance.

Also raining on the parade was the duty doctor at Ryde Hospital, who wasn’t able to find as much as a scratch on Pickering. Did someone forget to send him the script?

Despite the impressive Pickering performance, it ultimately didn’t matter with the Academy making a last minute decision to defer introduction of the new community category until next year.

Meanwhile, there’s speculation NIDA may offer the lobbyist/councillor a scholarship, to allow him to hone his skills for roles requiring a sharia law-resistant robe.

Fun Facts & ICAC Incompetence

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ICAC’s Sham Ryde Inquiry Infographic

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Vic Tagg v Bill Pickering Defo Case Kicks Off Tomorrow (Friday, 21st August, 2015)