The ICAC Ryde Inquiry for Dummies

Understanding ICAC’s Breach Of Public Trust In Shameful Ryde Affair

ICAC’s Ryde investigation debacle wasn’t meant to be easy to follow, compelling or of interest to media. It was designed that way.

And when everyone’s looking away, what you have is a situation where there’s fertile ground for abuse of power and corruption, even by those whose role it is to fight corruption.

ICAC’s Ryde inquiry and how it came about may well be the biggest ICAC scandal you’ve never heard of – the agency’s grand finale in the Ryde matter hits the courts in May 2017, but its concocted case looks set for a spectacular collapse.

The infographic below documents just one part of the disgraceful Ryde affair involving embarrassing ICAC bungles, cover-ups and persecution of the innocent on behalf of a group of bent politicians who continue to ply their trade – from NSW local government level through to the upper echelons of the NSW Government.

Ryde’s Fake Mayor Makes Important ‘Scatman’ Disclosure

#nswpol #fakemayor

 

TvFox’s Hard News ‘Erection Rigging’ Scoop

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Fox’s Hard News On “Erection Rigging”

Rigging claims have come thick and fast following Donald Trump’s Whitehouse elevation — now Fox in the US has this “hard news”…

He’s not getting younger and now that the media has exposed Trump and sexual assault as BFFs, he’ll be wanting to take full advantage of his fans’ adoration while in power to get some ‘Clintonian’ Presidential action.

That’s got to mean one thing: performance enhancers — and really, it should’ve been easy to foresee it would come to this.

Donald Trump: a face that screams of “erection rigging”, though to be fair, this isn’t about him (but it could be).

Assuming the erection indeed belongs to the presidential pants man, some serious issues arise. Should the American president be clocked on while high on Horny Goat Weed or with compromised circulation on Viagra?

Erection rigging is big news – aren’t these natural and pharamaceutical treaments “erection riggers”?

Why shouldn’t the president be held to the same standard as an Olympian and hauled in front of a WADA-like tribunal to face anything up to a life ban for this type of performance enhancement doping?

Well, I’m Glad I asked.

To be fair, we almost certainly know the subject matter is not an appendage attached to ‘The Donald’.

This is “fake news” — a Trump creation — and a great example of how it can backfire on him, over something he has nothing to do with — simply a news anchor’s freudian slip.

The owner of the erection and what kind of rigging he did to reach that outcome, is detail clearly cast aside in the heat of the moment.

But we can deduce it’s something that popped up during the rough and tumble of the Democratic primaries last year when rivalry between Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton for their party’s nomination was at its peak.


North Korea Says Ryde Rorts Are World Class: ‘Trickle Down Effect’ Offered To Placate City’s Planning Chaos Victims

North Korea TV breaking news Ryde rorts corruption

North Korean TV’s breaking news on Ryde’s non-negotiable deal with ratepayers: We rort you and you get to later enjoy the benefits of the ‘trickle down effect’.

Rogue dictatorships on the other side of the planet usually have limited interest in far-away western nations like Australia unless there’s something worthwhile on offer.

And it just so happens that the architects of misinformation in the rogue state of North Korea have found a reason to turn their attention Downunder – they’ve become fascinated by the work of a bunch of bent bananas in the City of Ryde.

This particular bunch has been shameless in exploiting their civic duties in the pursuit of supercharging their retirement fund.

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Ryde’s ratepayers going bananas over prolonged rorting by city’s bent and rotten bananas

They’ve rorted the public purse for personal gain, regularly misled the media, concealed dodgy dealings, defied the democratic wishes of locals and – assisted by the extended bent banana family in Macquarie Street – even infiltrated the ICAC, to destroy political rivals.

Given Pyongyang’s ‘wink of approval’ for Ryde’s rorts, it’s no surprise the inner north-western Sydney suburb occasionally makes it into the news bulletins of state-owned Korean Central Television.

In the report, there’s even a reference to “Ryde’s cheap immitation Supreme Ruler”, apparently a backhanded North Korean compliment stemming back to its ancient days.

“What we can learn from Ryde is that rorting requires careful thought, planning,” a North Korean official told Taking Us For A Ryde on the condition of anonymity.

“If you can also pull it off, stunts and useless information regularly fed to the media will ensure you’re never exposed and need to have access to public resources for the benefit of those that do your dirty work.

“That means handing out overpaid gigs to people with roles well beyond their ability.”

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North Korea’s Kim Jong Un: Keen on a relationship with Ryde with a focus on information sharing aimed at achieving innovation in rorting the public

Chairman of North Korea’s Workers’ Party  – Supreme Ruler, Kim Jong Un – is considering investment of his nation’s wealth into high-rise developments in waterfront locations in Ryde.

He has asked his senior officials to design an ICAC-style anti-corruption agency, with secrecy provisions enshrined in law, to create the public perception of corruption fighting, while in reality, covertly being used to persecute with dissent and political threats.

Also high on his list is an invitation to DJ Picko for a government subsidised tour of North Korea to celebrate his talents in ‘Truth Remixing’ and ‘Ethical Illusion’.

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“Our people have become accustomed to trickery, deception and breach of trust and we have trained them to celebrate it – DJ Picko, we think, will fit in nicely,” the official said.

‘Bills’: One word that explains why we hate corrupt politicians

For many an Aussie battler busting their gut to make ends meet, watching corrupt politicians skimming government coffers and and routinely abusing their power, this catchy little song – Bill – strikes exactly the right chord.

And it’s got the perfect name too – Bills – because when you slice and dice the situation – yes, for certain, it’s Bills that are to blame.

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Whether that’s a shifty politician rorting the local community named ‘Bill’;  or the dreaded paper confirmation asking you to cough up for a ‘celebrated’ rate hike – there’s always a ‘bill’ of some kind involved.

We hope this lovely hit song – and our other collection of tracks to celebrate DJ Picko’s achievements as a ‘truth remixer and ethical illusionist’ – help soothe the pain you may be experiencing at the hands of self-serving bent bananas that are meant to represent you.

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Rate hike celebrations one day, cookie jar molestation the next

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They reckon they should be able to throw around our hard earned bucks, waste it on shithouse, useless projects, or throw wads of with dodgy contracts to their mates – and all with impunity or even a need to explain.

Councils spend big on staying slllall I James Robertson, Leesha McKenny Does merging councils save money? It depends who you ask - not to mention who is doing the asking. Sydney's councils are sharpening their arguments against the state government's plans to reduce their number, before they formally submit responses at the end of June to show why they should merge or continue as they are. Critics say the main beneficiaries have been management consultants .. Manly and Pittwal

Bill Pickering, f0llowing the John Neish model and spending megabucks on a congaline of consultants – ratepayers just love it!

Today’s Mystery Quiz Question Is: Who ended up getting Ryde’s lobbyist cash??

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#notmymayor #ICAC #NSW #Politics #Transparency #Ryde

Top 10 Songs To Mark Lobbyist/Mayor Bill Pickering’s Red Bathrobe Encore

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We interrupt our deep sleep to update you on the latest efforts by (retired) Major Shamateur* that are “Taking Us For A Ryde” (pun intended) as he persists with a desperate crusade to impose a twin (or more)-towered monstrosity on Ryde’s civic precinct, regardless of what ratepayers think.

This is an inspirational story of determination, focus, ‘world’s best practice’ in dirty politics and a man on a mission to make the world aware of an impending crisis in human rights abuses against property developers. Hugo Halliday, our conflicted but resourceful superstar reporter, threw together this report.

As a lobbyist that’s mainly serviced property developers, Bill Pickering is well aware of the struggles and the discrimination they face on multiple fronts, even when trying to make a valuable contribution to the community – like a high-rise residential tower or 10.

(* For details on why we’ve chosen the ceremonial name of Major Shamateur in this piece refer to the section subtitled ‘As Popular Bowel Cancer: No Local Support? No Worries’)

Picko Picks: Songs To Celebrate A Lobbyist Turned Mayor

We drew upon our global editorial resources to assemble a compilation of songs are most relavant to the personal story of Ryde’s new leader by miscarriage.

In number one spot is a song that carries some sentimental value for Pickering.

Its title, ‘Shamateur’ kicked off an ultra-marathon of rage and malicious dummy spitting by Pickering, angered to be given such an honest one-word character assessment by John Booth, editor of local newspaper, The Weekly Times.

#1 Shamateur

This track by pop-electro group Viola, is titled with the same word the The Weekly Times used to describe lobbyist Bill Pickering in his early days as a councillor. So it has a certain sentimental value. That explains the ‘Shamateur’ part of Pickering’s ceremonial title in today’s article, as part of our conribution to community celebrations. The preceding ‘Major’ acknowledges his military obsession, including saving the planet from an invasion by Shariah Law-abiding aliens, the kind of thing he’ll rants about with remarkable proficiency – with no segue too difficult. In fairness without army analogies or war talk sprinkled throughout his rarely-read blog, it’s hard to imagine he’d want to traverse other topic areas and risk revealing deals or relationships he’s kept under the radar that he thinks no one’s noticed. The lyrics by Viola are cryptic, but those resonating most are: “shamateur, you got what you deserved,” which many decent Ryde people hope they’ll be able to recite to their number one local shamateur, in person, soon.

2. No Lies

An  80s classic by the SOS Band that best represents what the Ryde Community wants from anyone that is given the privilege of leading their city – but from Major Shamateur, it seems sadly, they cannot ever seem to get it. , especially on the issue of the Civic Centre redevelopment fiasco. Only recently, local resident and Newcastle University Professor John Smolders reached the point where he’d had enough of had enough which has become far too personal which ultimately leads to his whole campaign for this disaster simply not passing the sniff test.

3. Barbie Girl

Even though Auburn Council media badboy Salim Mehajer has nothing on Major Shamateur, this is the mock video clip made for his notorious wedding celebrations using the tacky Acqua track ‘Barbie Girl’. It has important symbolism for those in solidarity, fighting for property developers’ privacy by not declaring relationships with them.

4. Shut Up

According to the latest available research, this song by The Black Eyed Peas will cross the mind of members of the public gallery at Ryde Council meetings at least once and up to 10 times, during cringeworthy rants by the Major Shamateur.

5. Dirty Cash

This is the ‘Sold Out Mix’ of 90s Stevie V track Dirty Cash – which I’m sure you’ll agree, goes to the heart of why the public does not trust dirty politicians  – especially those who claim they’re powered by god. You’ll especially see the relevance when you hear the words: “I want to get rich quick”.

6. Tacky

When you do one too many dirty political smear campaign and you are a redkneck bogan who puts yourself before the community, you will at some stage be seen as tacky. And Tacky is one of Wierd Al Yankovich’s more recent send up tracks. Perfect.

7. Corrupt

A track with a self-explanatory title, Corrupt was release by electro megastars, Depeche Mode in 2009. Nuff said.

8. Blurred Lines

This Robin Thicke song from 2013, Blurred Lines, is how a corrupt politician would see the hassle of having to reveal dodgy relationships to constituents. Meanwhile, constituents demand they know – there’s nothing blurred or ambiguous about it. If you’re hiding things from them it’s because you know the consequences – in a democracy anyway.

9. Like A Surgeon

Another Wierd Al Yankovich send up, this time of Madonna’s Like A Virgin. It’s a perfect track to help us remember the Shamateur’s staged knock-out – and within 10 minutes of it happening he had sent out a picture of himself, to all media, lying on a paramedics stretcher. He told journos that he expected to stay overnight for observation – but when he got to Ryde hospital, the medical certificate says there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and sent him home with instructions to take a Panadol if his fake pains persisted.

10. Don’t Lie

Another blockbuster from The Black Eyed Peas that reflects exactly what Ryde’s ratepayers collectively think almost every time Major Shamateur delivers his rants at council meetings, in public and (his party colleagues tell us) at caucus meetings – which are kind of naughty under local government legislation in NSW, where you can’t apparently have a binding caucus vote. But without them, how would we ever be able to celebrate the momentus achievements of Bill Pickering – who has made the transition from lobbyist to Mayor? Think about this for a minute – he would be ruthlessly forced into a democratic vote by ratepayers – and as he argues, it’s hard to see why they should have any sort of say in who leads their local administration, right?  yes?  no? (why are you frowning?)

“Bill Pickering rivals both Madonna and Prince when it comes to reinventing himself. His latest incarnation, DJ Picko, has seen him carry on unabated as a truth remixer and ethical illusionist. He brings hope to others that are completely unsuited to public office – for they know they too can now make the grade” – Hugo Halliday

 


As Popular Bowel Cancer: No Local Support? No Worries

If you’re not into political natter, now’s the time to get off the bus. Or you can hang around and be enlightened.

If there’s something Bill knows well, it’s the unarguable fact that he’s about as popular as bowel cancer and to become “mayor” when you don’t rate a blip in community approval is a big achievement.

He’s employed a simple strategy – make sure Ryde’s ratepayers have no say in it. He fought tooth and nail against a proposal to elect the mayor by popular vote, taking sleazy sanctuary in his more familiar habitat – the dark and dingy backroom.

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The closest thing resembling a dark and dingy political caucus meeting scenario where Major Shamateur is most at home

There, he only has to dupe a handful of Liberal caucus members, not an entire community.

And Ryde Council’s meeting  minutes may well report a Mayoral election was carried out in mid-September according to the rules, transparently, in open session. Surely Major Shamateur won fair and square.

Right? Wrong.

The Dastardly Events No One Seems To Have Realised

Don’t forget the dastardly events in the few years leading up to this and his previous shock elevation, used to change numbers on council, which were 7-5 against his shambolic Civic Centre pet project after the 2012 elections.

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Major Shamateur has accessed the control panel to fine tune the settings, the meter here indicates his regular output level

There’s been smear campaigning, for which he was embroiled in defamation action;  a disgraceful ICAC inquiry solely to eliminate political rivals and serious conflicts of interests – none of which have been disclosed – leading all the way to Macquarie Street.

Let’s hope some of the misinformation is dealt with when the DPP manages to finally get all the evidence ICAC’s hidden as two innocent men continue to face court over purely fictional claims related to the sham ICAC Ryde inquiry, that don’t pass the sniff test.

Postponing Sour Grapes

For now, we’ve put ruthless abuse of power and misuse of public resources to one side.

We’re here to celebrate Major Shamateur’s latest incarnation, ‘DJ Picko’.

He’s been dazzling large crowds of property developers with his signature “truth remixing” and regular acts of “ethical illusion”.  (Note: pic above from his last gig with imaginary fans).

You can just imagine the ‘Carnivale’ atmosphere that has kicked on in Ryde since Major Shamateur scored the red bathrobes, with celebrations ongoing since mid-September and spilling into the streets.

We’re feeling quite guilty at The Star Chamber Inquirer for getting to the party late, so in the spirit of DJ Picko’s new musical endeavours, we’ve assembled selection of tracks to get things buzzing again.

They’re from his upcoming compilation tribute album ‘Undisclosed’ which included his catchy new track “Help The Starving Children – With High Rise On Ryde’s Waterfront”.

Stay tuned for the fanfare when we launch that brilliant collection of musical artistry very soon.

In NSW, ‘ICAC’ stands for something different

The multimedia effort below clearly informs and wraps up a case study of what has sadly become the rule rather than the exception at ICAC. Its Big Kahunas and Chief Wing-pullers know what their cash cow acronym stands for:

INSIGNIFICANT CASES ARE CORE

ICAC chooses easy to digest missions, preferably with something salacious to meet their accomplices’ requirements – usually a cheep and nasty headline to impress the masses.

This is the reality. The solution isn’t to kill off the state’s nasty acronym – but rather, those who’ve overstayed the taxpayers’ welcome and contributed to the evolution of  a rotten culture. But who’s going to do that? A federal anti-corruption commission perhaps?

Supervising the abused of state counterparts is yet another compelling reason for a federal watchdog.

Don’t call it “ICAC” though. It shouldn’t be lumbered with the ‘damaged goods’ of the NSW agency’s brand. In fact, the NSW Government should change its name to gauge its underperformance, undisguised by more prolific, effective and better supervised efforts by agencies of the same name*.

(* ICAC in SA and Hong Kong; and the International Crimes Against Children US taskforce)