Pantsdown & Dastyari Call On Voters To Enrol While They Can For Pointless Postal Survey


What a glamorous, non-binding postal survey campaign it’s shaping up to be.

The August 24th enrolment deadline is fast approaching for those wanting a say on marriage equality in a postal poll costing megabucks but counting bugger-all in resolving the issue, with politicians expected to ignore it.

But burqa queen Pauline Hanson‘s alter-ego, Pauline Pantdown, reckons it’s important “yes” supporters send a strong message to the government and hit the streets in red letter box theme last week with fan, Senator Sam Dastyari, to motivate the masses.

The symbolism was not lost on the Senator and proud media whore, who recited the famous line: “they say that great minds dress alike,” adding it was “fantastic you (Pantsdown) have come in post box camouflage today.”

Pantsdown’s famous Hanson-inspired hit ‘I don’t Like It’ could readily be applied to the $120m postal stunt cooked up to delay the inevitable by those fiscal gurus within conservative political ranks.

It’s an absolute bargain. Personally, I can’t think of anything I’d rather shower with tens of millions of dollars. Raising awareness and revenue for Australia Post is an admirable.

It was clear Pantsdown wasn’t having a bar of Senator Dastyari’s small talk and playful, meaningless banter – not while there was a meaningless postal survey campaign in which to channel her campaigning energy and soothe the pre-match nerves.

“I think I’ll stay here all night just in case any late votes come in, ” demonstrating a steely focus on achieving the best possible “yes” campaign result, that politicians could then ignore.


Both were acutely aware of the challenge in getting younger Australians acquainted, in many cases probably for the first time, with communications minus the Wi-Fi, screen and Emojis.

They patiently gave an entry-level tutorial on communicating using envelopes stuffed with printed material, inserted into big, red, roadside Australia Post boxes.

“This is called an envelope… this is called a post box,” Pantsdown explained, clearly indicating each object.

“If you know the government’s NBN, this is a bit like human rights to the node.

“So you have your vote as to whether gay and lesbian people are human or not and you’re going to put it inside this piece of metal.”


Senator Dastyari knows there’s no room for complacency if the “yes” campaign is to succeed and overwhelmingly endorse marriage equality.

Especially with the “no” campaign so organised, having distilled its message into a compelling and persuasive issue that taps into fears so many of us frequently encounter.

Removing the barrier to marriage could result in two brothers, or a father and son, who love eachother, hastily tying the knot.


Senator Dastyari is probably now concerned – like others in the community – that Teams “No” will use dirty campaign strategy using his comments about someone marrying a bridge.

One possible approach would aim to devalue same-sex relationships by associating them with the weirdness and perceived mental instability that are clearly prerequisites on the path to becoming an inanimate object lover.

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 46 , romantically embraces the Eiffel Tower, who she married nine years ago

But it’s a risky approach that could easily backfire as human hook-ups with non-human objects is gaining popularity.

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 46, is living proof that you can fall in love with a famous landmark and have a committed, long-term relationship that goes from strength to strength.

Her bizarre fetish for inanimate objects saw her marry the tall and handsome Eiffel Tower in 2008. But the first time she experienced a lust for something able to sit still and patiently listen to what she had to say, was her fling with ‘Lance’, a bow that helped her become a world-class archer.

She admits having a crush on the Berlin Wall and says she gets plenty of action in her physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her room, but Eiffel is special – the culmination of a life-long search for the perfect permanent partner object.


Incredible waste of tens of millions of taxpayer dollard and pointless waste of time aside, Australian’s looking for another reason to rubbish the postal poll will be pleased to know the Australian Bureau of Statistice – which famously stuffed up its online arrangements for its key task, the Census – is leading the organisational effort.

Here’s what you need to know straight from the horse’s mouth.



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